Unless you regularly take time to take stock of your life and your habits, chances are many of your day-to-day actions are on autopilot. But new transitions in life almost always require us to update our thinking. The trouble is, we rarely realize this necessity and then wonder why things are working less than optimally.
Take for instance entering into a long-term relationship. I am reading a fantastic book right now called What No One Tells the Bride by Marge Stark. It is revolutionary to have someone say that although I may be in a fantastic relationship (which I am); it is perfectly normally to miss your old life, to squabble over basic things like how to load the dishwasher, and to struggle with forming new patterns of communication. Entering into a new phase of life requires new thinking and sometimes an updated set of beliefs. For instance, maybe it doesn’t matter if the dishwasher is loaded just right.
Taking the time to update your home is a perfect process for taking stock of what in your life needs to change and how. When we take the time to change our home, we give ourselves permission to change our beliefs and actions too. Think of it as a refresh. Every aspect of our life needs a refresh from time to time.
As you look around your home and identify what no longer serves you, you will – even if subconsciously – begin to do the same with your beliefs and actions. It is easy to get stuck in a particular way of being, perhaps even a way of being that may have worked well for you in the past. We are creatures of habit by nature after all and most people are uncomfortable with the possibility of being “wrong.” But if we can give ourselves the chance to make changes, we can breathe fresh air and new possibilities into our life. Think of how great your relationship with your partner could be if you didn’t waste energy squabbling over how the dishwasher ought to be loaded?
So, how can you start the process of updating your home? First, I recommend clearing away the clutter. Clutter keeps our minds cloudy and unable to think clearly. Clutter is distracting and keeps us attached to the past whether we mean to or not. And then secondly, clean. Do a really good, thorough cleaning of your home. As you clean your home, you are telling yourself that you are worthy of your care and attention. Cleaning is cathartic and energetically updates the energy in your home.
Now, it is time to take stock of what is around you. If you can identify any energy sucks in your home; the items that bring on any negative feelings when you look at them like guilt, disdain, or maybe even anger, let them go now! No matter how beautiful or expensive something might be, if it brings your energy down, then it will never be valuable enough to keep in your home. While others in your life may have an opinion about what to keep or toss, only you can know whether or not an item is adding value to your life. So, trust yourself first and foremost on this one.
And now, finally, it is time to decide what to add into your home or what to update. While you may have loved your green and purple bed set in college, if it doesn’t feel like you any more, then maybe it is time to update it. Maybe you can envision a better layout of your living room furniture. Then let the rearranging begin! Maybe you have always wanted to start an herb garden. Then breakout the soil and seeds!
If you can afford to update an entire room and you want to, then go for it. But if you can only afford to make more minor changes, then I still recommend you do that. Do be fiscally responsible (or else you will have a whole other set of problems) but do take the time to add some new energy to your home; to make your new intentions known to yourself and to others who might stop by for a visit.
Updating our home provides us with new energy, a new sense of empowerment, increased motivation, and a clearer sense of who we are, what we are doing, and why. The more that we can consciously enter a new life phase, the more likely we are to enjoy it. So here is to life transitions and making the most out of them!