Jealousy. It’s Not as Bad as You Think

The only time you feel jealous is because you feel you can’t have something. If you saw what you wanted in another and believed you could have it, you would feel inspired, not jealous. Here is another gift for our awareness. We don’t have to beat ourselves up for feeling jealous or even try to make ourselves not feel jealous. It’s like meditation. When meditating, if a thought comes into your head, you don’t need to beat yourself up for loosing track of your breath or even try to force the thought out. Instead, you can just observe that a thought has entered your mind. In a neutral space, the thought does not have to be a negative or positive occurrence. It just is. And of course it just is. Only humans label experiences as negative or positive. Before we came around, an experience was just an experience. Nothing more, nothing less. So…. back to jealousy (my, I do tend to get off track!). :) Jealously is just a feeling; an indicator for you, not necessarily an emotion that should be indulged or banished from our thoughts. Think of the last time you have been jealous. What triggered it? What were you observing? How personally empowered and confident were you feeling while jealous?

Heck, you don’t even have to just limit this helpful observation to jealousy. When have you ever been witness to someone’s good fortune and rather than feel great for them or inspired about what you too could accomplish, you instead felt weak, unsure of yourself, left with some doubt, or even feelings of self-loathing? In any of those situations, your beliefs about what you can have or be in life are really low. And this is what is limiting.

I think, before we can ever be or have what we want in life, we need to feel like we have permission to achieve what we want. This permission of course does not come from anyone but ourselves. Who cares if your dad doesn’t think you should take a nice vacation. If you however don’t think you should treat yourself well and take a nice vacation, then you can be absolutely sure you will never make this dream a reality.

Let me give you a personal example of one that I find difficult and probably one with which many of us struggle. Money. Ah, that’s loaded, I know! So, here is my situation. I envision myself one day writing books and being very successful at what I do. I believe that my books will help millions of people and that they will bring in more than enough money for me to be financially secure. And it’s tough because I am not that financially secure right now. I have a mortgage and I need some type of income to pay it. However, doubting that I can one day be financially wealthy certainly won’t help me obtain what I hope to achieve. And so, whenever this self-doubt arises, I remember that thoughts are extremely powerful and I immediately chose a new thought. I choose a more empowering thought like “Of course I can! The world is full of successful writers. I believe in what I have to say and I am a decent writer so why the heck couldn’t I be a successful writer?!” Even if I am just playing with logic (of course the possibility of being a successful writer exists), this contributes to establishing a healthy belief in myself and contributes to the odds of me achieving my dream.

So, feelings of jealousy or self-doubt? Hooray, what a gift! Now we have another clue to recognize what is standing in our way of where we want to go in life. Where in your life are you lacking permission? What limiting beliefs are standing in your way? Now, what positive thoughts can you choose to replace these limiting beliefs? Let’s chat about this this week and help each other adopt some more empowering beliefs. We all deserve to achieve the life we want. I truly believe that and I truly believe in you.

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